He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
