u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
