What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
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He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
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I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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