he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize