girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
