I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
