You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
