So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
