It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
