yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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