I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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