please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
