if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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