I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
