Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
