yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
