So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
