All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
