that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize