So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How does it feel to date your dad?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
