love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
