last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
