so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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