i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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