I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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