U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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