I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
