ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
