Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
