Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
