If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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