Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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