so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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