yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
