i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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