also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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