WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize