He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize