How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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