i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
