It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She's like a pop up book from hell.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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