I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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