Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
