why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
