So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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