Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
