do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize