never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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