Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
