I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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