There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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