DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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