I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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