Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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