I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize