but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
