I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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