I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
