My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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