im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
