just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
