We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
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He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Never underestimate the power of titties
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