i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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