It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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