At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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